Families of drug addicts are often just as affected as addicts themselves by addiction. A lover of an addict will experience this problem.
Some significant other addicts worry about not ending their relationships when they are dealing with addiction.
In some cases, however, staying in a relationship may be appropriate.
Relationships with drug addicts can be challenging to end. So, giving up a drug addict requires knowledge of how to do it.
Consider the relationship this way if someone you love has a drug or alcohol problem:
- Have you ever lied about their substance abuse or called in sick for them at work when it comes to your loved one?
- How many times have you been put down in the past? Is your loved one physically or mentally degrading you?
- How often do you hide the drug use or alcohol drinking of loved ones from family or friends?
- Do you often refer to their use of drugs in your arguments? Can drugs cause financial difficulties, missed events, job loss, or staying out all night?
- After arguing with your loved one, do they use drugs? Do you feel responsible for that?
- Do you ever get into physical fights?
- Do they miss milestones and important events that are important to you while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? A birthday, an anniversary, or a sporting event for a child?
- Addiction is not a problem that goes away on its own – it only heals once it has been addressed and treated.
What does addiction do?
An authoritative definition of “drug addiction” explained that it is a disease or condition resulting from consuming substances. That may include such as benzos, heroin, alcohol, or painkiller. Which can be enjoyable at first, but with continued use, the behavior becomes compulsive.
As a result, the behavior becomes both habitual and instinctual – even though it is harmful.
But the definition did not adequately describe the adverse effects of drug addiction on the individual and the people around them.
- Addiction is often followed by destruction.
- Alcohol or drug addiction often hampers the things that make life worthwhile.
- The effects of addiction are often so terrible that people suffer a damaged body, argue, lie, steal, miss opportunities, face financial hardship, lose jobs, manipulate, feel angry, hurt, regret, and suffer guilt. Perhaps the most painful part, they suffer broken relationships.
Someone who is addicted to heroin will do things they never would normally consider doing.
Drinking alcohol can cause one to do things one doesn’t want to do.
Those active in drug or alcohol addiction will hurt you.
Even though they may not have intended to hurt you, damaging or ending the relationship, it is inevitable when addiction is involved.
How Addiction Affects Relationships
For drug addicts, no matter the circumstances, the addiction to drugs or substances is more significant than relationships.
Addiction destroys the lives of those around the addict, and it impacts everyone around them.
The use of drugs for recreational purposes can often turn into an addiction.
An addict who once was loving and engaging will become selfish, distant, and focused on getting their next drug fix.
A person’s decision to do drugs or drink is voluntary, but addiction is an illness of the brain that profoundly affects their cognition and behavior.
Their need to continue using the drugs is not only psychological but also physiological.
It is their number one priority to fulfill their drug-related and alcohol-related needs.
When an addict becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol, it is often their relationships that suffer.
You cannot maintain a meaningful relationship with an addict if they are still battling addiction without receiving treatment.
To stay addicted, addicts may lie, cheat, or steal.
In addition to risky or illegal behaviors, addicts can also engage in behaviors that affect their partners.
In addition to having their primary relationship, they are not afraid to have relationships outside of it.
Because they rely on manipulation to feed their addictions, addicts are deceptive and manipulative.
People who are addicted to drugs are likely to behave differently than they did before they became addicted.
Some people remain in a relationship with an addict believing they can somehow fix or cure them with love.
Relationships with drug addicts leave you feeling frustrated and heartbroken.
It is also possible for those with addiction disorders to become physically and emotionally abusive.
The problem of addiction usually accompanies a relationship problem.
Does this mean you have to let the person go?
Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
It will take some of your effort to motivate an addict to seek help, and you and the addict may go through the treatment process together.
However, not every addict accepts the help and will go through treatment.
Also, if you’re in a relationship with an addict who’s physically harmful to you, you may have no other choice than to leave.
The majority of people in a relationship with a drug addict or alcoholic set boundaries and ultimately find that they have to end the relationship when the addict doesn’t adhere to these.
In the case of addicts who seek treatment, they may recover relationships.
Being in a relationship with a drug addict
People may continue to be romantically involved with drug users for many reasons.
That is due to the person’s love for the drug addict.
Another reason people don’t end their romantic relationships with drug addicts is fear of what will happen if they end the relationship.
In the case of a drug addict, many fear that breaking up with him will cause him to spiral deeper into his addiction.
There’s even a risk the addict might commit suicide if you leave them.
Additionally, some individuals may have difficulty ending a relationship because they believe no one can handle the drug addict.
The fear of being alone may lead some people to stay in a relationship with drug addicts.
These reasons are all based on fear, which is the leading reason for not ending a relationship with a drug addict.
Relationship with a drug addict
If you love someone struggling with addiction to drugs or alcohol, many things are hard to understand.
The person you love can sometimes seem different from the person they once were.
Relationships with drug addicts may also feel like your partner can’t keep promises, prioritize you, or do the other things necessary for them to succeed.
Having an honest relationship with an addict is possible, but you must also choose what fits into your life.
When it comes to addiction, neither of these behaviors tend to be present. Honesty and open communication are essential to fostering a healthy relationship.
The conversation may not always be sincere and truthful but may include some of the following:
- Denying they use drugs, abuse drugs, or are addicted to drugs and alcohol.
- Feeling defensive when drug use is questioned Or if addiction or addiction treatment is brought up.
- They justify their behavior with rationalization.
- Efforts to manipulate.
- Dodging friends or family members who have defied them regarding addiction.
- Taking drugs or drinking alcohol and lying about it.
Addicted to a relationship with a drug addict
Your loved one will never be able to quit taking drugs no matter how many promises they make, despite their repeated attempts to control their drug use.
There will always be pieces of their lives to pick up.
You might wonder why the problem persists?
You may not realize it, but addiction is an illness that changes the brain’s functioning.
When the brain is exposed to drugs regularly, it changes pleasure pathways, telling the brain that it must constantly seek out the substance.
Eventually, the brain has no other option but to turn to drugs for its pleasure.
The brain has been rewired in such a way that it dictates that there is only one thing that will satisfy the individual, and that cannot be achieved by self-motivation alone.
That makes sense why your partner would choose drug abuse over your presence or a mutually healthy, harmonious relationship.
The disease of drug addiction involves chronic relapse accompanied by compulsive behavior.
Individuals may have difficulty controlling their actions due to this.
In a relationship with a drug addict
Relationships with addicts can be challenging. The stress it causes can affect you financially, your family, and almost everything you do in life.
That is the primary reason people have to leave loved ones who suffer from addiction.
Many will remain but can be found enabling their loved one’s behavior, for example, rejection, justifying their loved one’s actions, guarding their loved one against consequences, etc.
As a partner of a drug addict, you should help them seek professional treatment so that both of you can recover. If you see that they are negatively affected by their addiction, now would be an excellent time to consider rehabilitation.
5 Tips: Drug Rehab Treatment
People delay seeking treatment for various reasons. A few tips are listed below to assist you with this challenging process.
- Engage the interventionist or therapist, family members, and friends in an intervention.
- Do not discuss your concerns with your loved ones while they are drunk.
- Defining boundaries is essential. You can refuse to provide your partner with anything they need from you if they refuse to seek treatment.
- Don’t let anything push you away from your boundaries.
- Keep calm at all times. It’ll be more challenging for your loved one to make the discussion into a fight if you do so.
My relationship with a drug addict
Addiction is a complex disease with different effects on different people.
You’ll find very few answers if you’re romantically involved with someone who suffers from addiction.
Another way of saying this is that issues and symptoms are entirely different for everyone.
But one should be aware of the severity and intensity of the addiction they may be facing.
In fact, excessive drinking poses many severe risks and consequences for children, including an increased risk of developing PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder – is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening, or distressing events.) and other mental health challenges.
Those with an ongoing substance abuse problem are often victims of emotional and physical abuse as well.
When this is the case, a loved one must get assistance for overcoming their addiction by seeking help and exploring available rehab treatment options.
Nevertheless, if this is not feasible, it’s essential to protect yourself from being involved in a relationship with a drug addict.
Even though you may be inclined to stay with your loved ones if they’re not abusive and have expressed an interest in going to the drug rehabilitation center, you might want to think about staying with them and helping them.
Conclusively, it is up to you to determine what’s best for you based on the situation’s circumstances.
You need to know first about all the essential things if you’re in love with an addict and wondering how to handle it.
You might not be aware there is a problem if you continue to allow your partner to abuse alcohol or drugs.
Perhaps this is a sign that you are having codependency issues. It is not bad sometimes, but when dealing with a drug addict partner, you have to set some boundaries for their betterment.
What is codependency?
It is simply the lack of ability to set boundaries within a relationship that defines codependency.
Codependent people tend to be unable to say NO, mainly if they are in a relationship with an addict.
The codependent cares much more about the feelings of their partner than about their own.
Since they want to keep their partner happy, they usually do anything to keep them happy.
The reality is that addicts and codependents are often romantically attracted to one another.
Codependents benefit from the fact that they feel as if they help addicts, while addicts benefit from the enablement they receive from their partners.
Most codependents are unaware that their actions make the problem more dangerous.
These actions, however, keep their loved ones from regaining normalcy.
Can A Drug Addict Love You?
On the contrary, addicts aren’t incapable of loving. Many psychology experts believe that loving someone helps them quit drugs.
Beverly Engel (a well-known psychologist) says, “Compassion is the key to helping someone with an addiction problem.” She writes in Psychology Today, “The most significant and beneficial [recovery] strategies involve becoming more compassionate toward your loved one.“
According to her, recent research indicates that love can inspire addicts to overcome their problems. She discusses Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), a substance abuse treatment method.
Using this CRAFT method, families can create a positive environment for addicts to help them overcome their addictions.
The program helps them take control over their lives and change how they interact with substance abusers in positive ways,” she says.
If you show compassion to the addict you love, they will understand the effects of their addiction.
In doing so, you will remind them that they are loved, and hopefully, it will give them some clarity when it comes time for them to respond in kind.
Fixing Their Drug Addiction Isn’t Worth The Trouble
According to a post published in the Huffington Post, titled “What You Learn From Loving An Addict,” the author Alicia Cook describes her experience as a partner to an addict. You can quickly become overwhelmed while trying to fix them, she says.
“Watching their physical deterioration and emotional detachment to everything will make you the most tired insomniac alive,” Alicia writes, “Loving a drug addict can and will consume your every thought.”
As Cook writes about her attempts to help a loved one who was an addict, she draws on her own experiences.
It only caused her sadness and pain in the end. “If you watch the person you love disappear right in front of your eyes long enough, you will start to dissolve too,” she writes; she stands before their bedroom door and pleads that she should “just get them back.”
It is a difficulty that many people encounter, like Alicia Cook in her post, who talks about no alternatives for dealing with our addicted loved ones.
As easy as it is to think we can make our loved ones quit drugs, we cannot always do so.
However, if they do not want to, we cannot force them to do it.
Compassion and encouragement can help them get sober. But, to solve this addiction problem, the addict must decide to do it on their own.
Consider Holding An Intervention
Organizing an intervention might help if you love an addict but are thinking about leaving.
So, you give them one last chance to save the relationship and demonstrate their willingness to change before you part ways.
The objective of a successful intervention is to convince the addict they need to undergo detox and rehabilitation.
It is vital to involve other family members in the intervention.
That might be the addict’s family, children, siblings, close friends, or other individuals with close connections to them, whom you can involve.
However, keeping the group small is imperative. Don’t invite anyone else unless they need to be there.
Each person attending the meeting should give specific examples of how the addict has affected them.
It would be beneficial to have these individuals share their examples during the intervention.
6 Tips For Conducting A Successful Intervention
- Plan your intervention: Find the rehab center you want the addict to attend before holding the intervention. An addict will be more willing to adhere to your plan if it is solid. They can then leave the meeting immediately if they accept professional treatment and go to rehab.
- Set a deadline: Detoxification can only happen when there is something to lose. Whatever the reason is, whether the addict must vacate the house or you are leaving, you should come up with options for them. If they decide to refuse rehab during the intervention, you must hold them accountable.
- Prepare for the family meeting: Establish the ground rules with the family members you will include in the intervention once you’ve decided who to include. During the meeting, everyone must be calm. It is essential not to hurt an addict’s feelings but to help them. Describe your rehab plan to everyone, so they all understand what your goal is. Writing intervention letters may be helpful for some people to collect their thoughts.
- Intervention services: The majority of addiction therapists provide intervention services. It would be wise to hire one. Assuring everyone stays calm is the responsibility of these therapists. As well as these benefits, they also symbolize authority, which encourages addicts to take meetings seriously.
- Stay calm: Everyone needs to remain calm and collected during the meeting. Everyone in the meeting should keep their voices down. Even if the addict has hurt a member’s feelings, an intervention is not the right time to express anger or grievances. You must express your love to them and hope your relationship is maintained. Present your request concisely and firmly.
- Keep your goal in mind: Do not compromise on the consequences if your loved one refuses treatment. Please don’t change your mind, whether this means ending the relationship, moving out, or forcing them to move out. Addicts may ask for forgiveness. However, they can only choose from two options, and even if you love them dearly, that can’t change.
A great way to help an addict is to let them reach the lowest point they can. You should leave them alone to figure it out on their own if they refuse drug addiction treatment.
Can Two Addicts Have a Healthy Relationship?
Can you have a relationship where both partners are addicts? Does it have the potential?
In a nutshell, NO! It doesn’t, and such a relationship won’t work!
It is more likely that addicts who are in a relationship will continue to enable one another negatively.
You can easily influence the other person to behave the same way, and they may both live in a world distorted by their addictions.
Someone outside of the relationship will likely need to intervene if two addicts are in a relationship.
Following treatment, they may be able to succeed together, but it will be a challenge.
You should first and foremost focus on your recovery if you’re in a relationship with a fellow addict.
If you were codependent with your addicted partner, you should undergo individual rehab treatment and, after recovery, help your partner keep the bonds.
You must support your drug addict partner in their recovery, but you must not take any responsibility or blame for their recovery.
It is also essential to recognize the signs of codependence and learn how to build and maintain healthy relationships.
In conclusion, you cannot have a healthy relationship with someone addicted, at least not while abusing drugs or alcohol.
After treatment, however, you may be able to stay in a relationship with an addict.
In the course of the drug addiction treatment and recovery process, we must first address addiction issues.
Once this has been accomplished, a couple will be able to work on how to rebuild their relationship.